Happy Independence Day

As I’ve said before, life is so different and it gives me some perspective on many things – including my own life. I live a relatively stress-free, care-free life – especially compared to lives led here. I wake up and there are so many things that are certain: I can use the bathroom and shower in privacy; I can eat until I’m full with plenty of options just by opening the fridge – I have a fridge. My concerns? What am I going to wear? What will I do today? What day of the week is it and is there a favorite program on the TV that corresponds with this day? Did the Tigers win? You get the point…I have the freedom, time, and choice to do things when I have some leisure time (for me that is more often than not).


But most people here don’t have much leisure time. They wake up and maybe eat some chicken and rice or leftovers if you have it. Then go to work all day, and, for most, work doesn’t mean sitting in front of a computer from 9-5. Work means fishing or farming to provide food for their family – and even then usually just take what they need so they can sell the rest; maybe they can use the cash to buy gas, electricity, or maybe some soap.

The reality of how easy I really have it hit me on Monday. We had a feast that night for Mooka’s birthday, but this required much more work that I suspected. You can’t just throw some food in the oven and wait for the “beep” of the time. First you have to grab a machete and head for the forest to chop and chop and chop wood – fuel for the fire. Then you have to haul all of the wood to your home. Then you have to chop the wood again to size it correctly for the fire. Then you have to buy or find a pig and kill it – something I experienced for the first time yesterday. Then once all of the food is prepared you may eat.

This is just a basis for comparison. I’ve never had to catch & kill my own meal out here that is a daily occurrence for many. I feel like an idiot when I think of the time I got pissed at things like missing the latest episode of The Office. There are more important things to worry about.

I can’t really blame anyone at home for living like we do; we live and prosper the only way we know and within the society we live in. I’m not saying we are lazy or anything like that – most people work hard to provide for their families. It just seems harder because there aren’t as many guarantees. Hopefully I can remember how tough life can be and not waste my time worrying about Paris Hilton or if a stain will come out of my shirt.

The thing is that I don’t the feeling that anyone here is miserable. In fact, everyone is happy – always laughing and smiling. It’s just the way their life is and it is all they know, so it is normal to them. It is different for me because it is different than my life back home. I should also say that just like anywhere else life isn’t the same for everyone. There are still those who work harder than others and those who are more privileged than others.


After dinner we went to a relative’s house and had what we would call a “dance party”. I was by far the oldest for a long time so I just observed for a while. Man everyone out here are great dancers. The style is different that back home. It is a lot more fluid. Americans dance so stiff ha-ha. Finally some older kids my age showed up and we all danced. It was a lot of fun. It is funny cause once the song starts then someone will come grab you to dance or vice versa. You dance for the whole song and then once it ends everyone caps and sits back down. Then once the next song starts you do it all over again. It was the same at the club I went to a couple weeks ago. Once the song was over everyone cleared the dance floor, and then 10 seconds later when the song started again they piled back onto the floor.


I guess this would be a decent segue to talk about dating. Dating doesn’t really happen – at least for people my age. It is considered rude to show up at the house of your crush and ask to take her out – in fact, there is a good chance you’d get a whoopin’ from the father or brothers. If you like a girl you have to be sneaky. You have to plan to meet sometime at night in some location that you won’t get spotted. There really isn’t the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing here. Most get married at a very young age – like 15 or 16, and it isn’t a conventional wedding. Actually most of the time there is no wedding or filing of papers. You just stay together for various reasons – pregnancy probably being the most prominent. So instead of bowing on one knee and presenting a ring you go to the family’s house and bring gifs (sakau, rice, pig, etc.) and ask to marry the daughter. If the family approves then they are married. I don’t really know much about divorce or separation though.

It is so weird not celebrating Independence Day (sorry no ease in that transition). As I write this, my friends are probably well down the drunken path and getting settled on the beach. No red, white, or blue here – but understandably so. I think Pohnpei’s Liberation Day is September 11 (weird – I couldn’t exactly see myself celebrating on that day).

If it seems like my posts are getting a little deep it is because they are. Traveling and being away from home allows you to reflect – and most of this reflection is aimed at your life and your existence. Travel writer Paul Theroux puts it this way:

“Travel, which is nearly always seen as an attempt to escape from the ego, is in my opinion the opposite. Nothing induces concentration or inspires memory like an alien landscape or a foreign culture. It is simply not possible (as romantics think) to lose yourself in an exotic place. Much more likely is an experience of intense nostalgia, a harking back to an earlier stage in your life, or seeing clearly a serious mistake. But this does not happen to the exclusion of the exotic present. What makes the whole experience vivid, and sometimes thrilling, is the juxtaposing of the present and the past…”